Body Positivity/Diversity and Me

I've mentally planned this post and, also, rethought it hundreds of times. To start, let me explain a few things and why body positivity means so much to me not only as a person but also as an author. Picture if you will, a thirteen year old girl with already crippling body issues suddenly develops curves she's not ready for. She becomes painfully aware of the glances or outright stares she receives in gym class running laps. Those looks that follow the up and down motion as if watching a tennis match laying down. Said girl is fat and to her at that moment being fat, being female is one of the worst things she can imagine. How would that shape a persons body image for later in life? I'll answer that: badly.

The Body Positive Movement isn't anything new its just garnered more attention as models of size make themselves more visible. It's visible for the fact that body image shapes more than how we view ourselves but others as well. Those thoughts exist as a reflection of the insults we force upon ourselves, we use as judgements of others and what we say whether verbally or mentally about the way a person should be.


To me the Body Positive Movements isn't just for the individuals of size, although, clearly larger persons are going forth louder. Can you see my use of persons? Body Positive to me isn't about the gender of a person with body image issues; it's about individuals. Outwardly, our size discriminations are more geared toward girls/women, but boys/men are no less susceptible.

You may be asking yourself what is the purpose of what is probably going to be a long-winded essay. Well, let me say, I am a Body Positive/Diverse writer who focuses on size, namely, larger sizes. According to studies, the average size of the US woman is a size 16. If you look at the media and barrage of images we're subjected to on a daily basis, average sized women are made to be inferior by an industry/society that deems what is acceptable.

The books I write are outside the norm for no more than the average size of my characters in the books. A majority of my female characters are a size 18 or larger. My male characters are ones with bellies and hair. And body hair seems to be another point of contention, we're told what we should and shouldn't do with it. It all stems from what is traditionally considered attractive or normal in our modern society.

I will say that I am not a famous author, not even a well-known one in the grand scheme of things. I deal with everyday people with the same insecurities and fears of the readers taking a chance on my books. In some ways, I have branded myself as a Body Positive/Diverse author. My readers come to expect a certain level of body image themes.

My next statement may or may not offend, but I will say it nonetheless, books with characters of size are typically (not in every instance, please don't crucify me) dealt with in a before and after scenario. The cute chubby/fat character meets the hot popular guy/girl/person that they crushed on in high school. Diet and exercise ensue, or they look in a mirror and recount their flaws and why said person would never want them until they lost the weight. Let me note, that I believe in exercise and eating healthy. Size does not, I repeat, does not prove the health of the individual. You can be fat and healthy, you can also be skinny and unhealthy. Size isn't a determining factor in the argument of health status. Books deal with weight as the conflict and bodies of any shape and size are not deserving of contention.

I do use insecurity as a small point in the plot, but that in no way is the conflict of the story. Every human being has something they don't like about themselves and would love to change. I'm all for people having the right to change their bodies without judgement as long as it's done in a psychologically and physical manner that is appropriate to mental and physical wellness.

We're all hit with the images on the glossy pages of magazines with a straight sized or industry standard sized models and with glaring headlines or tag lines of how to please a man, how to lose that ten extra pounds, how to...you all get what i'm saying. With the recent increasing trumpet of the Body Positive Movement we are seeing more calls for models/actor(tresses)s of all shapes and size, all shades. We are simply being asked to suspend the belief that what is considered normative isn't always right.

Skinny persons compare theirselves to curvier persons.

Curvy persons compare theirselves to skinnier persons.

Larger persons compare theirselves to the skinnier/curvier persons.

Thin men comparing theirselves to a muscular man with six/eight pack abs.

Muscular men comparing theirselves to someone more muscular.

It is a vicious cycle without a ending in sight. As I stated we all have issue with our body images, sometimes those are just superficial things and a good portion, for example, with a few extra pounds accepts that their bodies are built a certain way. Being body posi for me is being content in the shape you're in and if you're unhappy with that shape then my all means do what makes you happy or stay confidently the way you are.

Now, for some statistics, to read more click the link here:

Every 62 minutes at least one person dies as a direct result from an eating disorder

16% of transgender college students reported having an eating disorder.

Eating disorders affect all races and ethnic groups.

1 in 5 anorexia deaths is by suicide.

Nearly 1 in 10 bulimia patients have a Comorbid substance abuse disorder, usually alcohol use.

Those are just a few that you can find with a general search of eating disorders. There's more and the statistics are frightening. And I know some have the argument that the Body Positive Movement is glorifying obesity, but again, my take on the movement is nothing more than being comfortable in your own body and accepting it for whatever flaws, perceived or otherwise, that a person has.

We have so many more troubling issues as a country and a world, politics, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, and the list could go on. Something small as accepting our bodies is in someways a profound aspect of self-care.

I write romance and other genres. I am simply a writer who puts pieces of her beliefs on the pages/screen of her stories. Carved out this insignificant niche for myself. My stories and subject matter aren't for everyone, but when I get one message, email, or comment on a post that a book I wrote helped them look at themselves in a new light, there isn't anything better or more awe inspiring than that. It's what I write my books for, writing stories where the person reading them can see someone like them getting that Happily Ever After of all romance books. That they are the star, but it's also so much more than that.

As a writer, I am a victim of comparison. Someone writes a book with a similar theme whether that was carried out appropriately or with any positivity other than the fat person getting their person isn't the point here. Or, another example, the before and after trope, fat person loses weight to get their love interest. These books by other authors do better. Get more glowing reviews. More shares for their sensitivity to people of size. And as the victim of comparison that I am, I ask myself why?

Why, is that really the question? Do I want to fit in or write books that are to the standards of the industry that I'm in the shadows of? No, I simply want to write my books of people falling in love despite size, whether too skinny or too fat or just something in between. We all have to find a way to love ourselves for who we are and what we have to bring to the table.

Body positivity is only a small sliver of the pie. We have to practice self-care and self-acceptance. Our bodies aren't the be-all of our contribution to the world as a whole. It's in the examples we set. The kindness we show. Yes, the Body Positive Movement and what it stands for at its core means a great deal to me because I was there at one point putting my fingers down my throat, putting off eating for days, and self-harming to feel something other than the disgust and anger at things outside my control. I was there.

My body isn't perfect. I'm fat. I'm Butch. I'm mentally ill.

I'm all these superficial things that are what make me a human. Do I wish certain things were different about my body? Yes. Do I feel the need any longer to torture myself to conform to the status quo? No. I will stand up for my beliefs wherever they are about body image or the state of the world. We are more than muscle definition or BMI stats. We're so much more than a tiny label in an article of clothing.

We're just more.

Every Body Is Beautiful